ON DEPLOYMENT & HAVING NIGHTMARES
Currently im on deployment and i started having these terrible night terrors. Well im having constant reacuring dreams of walking into my house and blood being everywhere. As i walk further into the house i come across my wife and sons body just so mutilated. Then I wake up screaming. I also have been having nightmares involving my wife and son getting into a car accident. I talked to my sergeant and he told me it means I’m helpless. But i wanted to get another opinion. The dreams made me feel scared and worried.
WHAT IT MEANS
Don't be afraid of nightmares. Most are nature's healing medicine.
It's a story about how someone enters a familiar space that is supposed to be safe, but instead finds it has been violated and sees their loved ones have been violated.
Keep in mind that dreams exaggerate to get a point across. There can be several layers going on here. One of the functions of dreams is to act as an emotional digestion system. At one level, these dreams are saying: This is how I'm experiencing life and the world these days. You were likely raised in a decent community and grew up thinking and feeling that life was a safe place, relatively so. On deployment, you're seeing a totally different side of the world and what life can be like there, for others, and you're smack dab in the middle of it.
The fact that you're having these nightmares is GOOD even though it may feel terrible. What it says is that you're feeling the pain, pain of seeing how awful life can be for others where you're deployed, and pain of having normal standards and ideals shattered, likes ones that said life is safe, realizing it ain't necessarily so. The fact that you're having these dreams tells me you are a good person who feels deeply about others and the world.You care. That's a GOOD thing. Instead of shutting off the pain, you're "feeling it". Trust me, with three degrees in pyschology, it's better to feel the pain than to push it away. In the long run, those who "repress" or push it away, are the ones who will later have problems. You are meeting it head on and facing what you see around you, and how it makes you feel.
Bottom Line:
The dreams likely reflect the dissonance (contrary points of view) of how you were led to believe the world is and should be as you were growing up, versus how you see it actually is (at least for many who are not fortunate enough to live in the U.S.). The dreams are a way your psyche is trying to reconcile those points of view and digest the painful feelings around seeing and the painful realities around you. It does not mean you are vulnerable. On the contrary, it means you are strong, you are man enough to look it in the eye, and say, "ouch".
Here's a hint as to how to reconcile ideals you (we) grew up with versus realities now in your face. Start by just doing your job the best you can (likely what you are doing already) and knowing that, somehow, in the plan of the Almighty, that is what you're supposed to be doing. Secondly, accept that this is the way the world and life is, that many in America never see (I know the ravages first hand of war, too, from my family's history). Third, resolve and tell yourself that when you can, later in life, you will make it your goal and mission to help make those around you safe and make the world a good place for those you love, and any others that you can.
We can't change the whole world. We can only do a little bit of good as far as our arms can reach. You will have many years to do that. One of the ways I help those in war-torn countries (as my small, small piece) is to work with and contribute to "Women for Women International". That helps women who have lost their husbands through war and who have often been raped or maimed, and gives them classes to learn a trade and builds their confidence, allowing them to earn a living and help their children and elderly in their own homes.
We can only light a candle. Meantime, the job you do IS important. We can't understand all the ways of the world. I am GLAD you feel the pain. It tells me your heart is wonderful, and someday you will help others in other ways, too. Your wife and children will be fine. The "accident" you dream of is about the "crash" in your own feelings, as pain sears.
Does that help? There are sleep tapes made especially for combat vets at my site www.interpretadream.com. If you have an MP3 player or IPOD, you could download and listen to stories before falling asleep. It might help. I think you'll be fine, will do great.
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